Nichelle Newsletter

Let's Get Serious

Let's Get Sirius...and fall in love! I will be chatting about blogs on Sirius Satellite's Derek and Romaine show. Derek sent me an email today:

It will just be us and a couple of bloggers for about 20-30 minutes talking about what they think is hot in the world, what they are blogging about, what's interesting, etc. It's the first time out so it might suck. No pressure.

Listen up around 9:15 PM on Thursday at Channel 149 even if it does suck! More good news: Check out the new and improved Perez Hilton site.

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Do you like new music? Are you lazy like me and you don't want to spend all day music "shopping" by searching for songs on mp3 blogs?  Well, I stumbled upon a great solution.  I have been using iPodder to download podcasts and now I am also using iPodder to download mp3s. 

This is how you do it:

1. Download iPodder (iPodderX for Macs) It's free!
2. Copy the RSS feed link from any MP3 blog. I used Randy's JOONR .
3. Add the feed to the iPodder subscriptions.
4. Then the next time iPodder updates with the latest from you feeds, you will get fresh podcasts and songs magically delivered into your iTunes Library.

If You Wanna Touch Her, Ask

I am starting to get into county music--only for the song titles, of course.  Shania Twain is a good one. Anyway, you are probably not even reading what I am writing because you maybe distracted by the beautiful picture I took last night at Anne's and Brian's party. 
Campari and cleavage go together like strawberries and cream. 

By the way, I started a "nyc cleavage" group on Flickr and since it's finally summer I expect to snap more pictures of the beautiful divide.

Freedom

Three years ago, June 11, 2002, I had my first Free Your Pu55y party and now it's an annual event. It was so much fun that I have been chasing the high every June. One of my friends who could not attend on June 11, 2002 had her beautiful twin boys on that very day.  [Talk about perfect timing!] Come join me at the Free Your PU55y Party at Lava Gina.  The invite is here for you to RSVP. If you are not yet convinced, read last year's recap!

A Ray Of Sunshine

Remy Stern sent me a free copy of Radar.  Flipping through it, I see there's an article written by one  of my favorite writers, Emma Forrest. I don't have anything snarky to say right now.  Besides, I love a freebie! [Not bad for me, a D-List Blogger]

No Myth

CherylB is producing a fantastic event that unfortunately I cannot attend due to work. On Tuesday, June 7 at Galapagos in Wmsburg, the little neighborhood that could, Cheryl B presents:
Tuesday - June 7th @ 10 p.m.
Cheryl B. Presents:
The Poetry vs. Comedy Variety Show -
Poets and Comedians in the Ultimate Battle of Wits!
Emcee: Regie Cabico

The Poets:
Scotty The Blue Bunny
Nathan Penlington
Thaddeus Rutkowski [v.funny he's like the Rodney Dangerfield of poetry]

The Comedians:
Carolyn Castiglia [Chicks and Giggles regular who is very busy for a  lady who's preggers. She is the best pre-natal comic ever.]
Jon Friedman [Rejection Show creator who does T-shirts and resembles Jake Gyllenhaal. Swoon!]
Becky Yamamoto [Chicks and Giggles alum who is hilariously funny.]

Galapagos
70 N. 6th St.
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
www.galapagosartspace.com
NO COVER

Jody's Got Your Girl and Gone

[Anyone vaguely familiar with Johnnie Taylor will recognize the song title of this post.]
A few months ago, I suggested to my friend Jodi: "Why don't you create your own cabaret show?" and she did. Yay! It's June 9...That's 6/9 for you perverts.

"I Couldn't Decide on a Title"
Starring Jodi Brinkman
Thursday, June 9 at 9:15 PM

Featuring Carolyn Castiglia, vocals, and Daryl Kojak, piano

Danny's
Restaurant, Piano Bar, & Skylight Room Cabaret
346 West 46 Street
New York City
$10 cover/$12 food and drink minimum
Reservations: 212/265-8133

What You Waiting For?

This Sunday, there's no reason to keep your ass at home. Desperate Housewives is over for the season! If you are not an Hamptons Ho, then you are probably in the City looking for something to do.

B-Muse's recommendation:
For all of you who've never come out to The Best
Brazilian Party in New York because it's on a Sunday
night and you need your SLEEP (aw, poor babies), well,
that excuse doesn't hold this weekend, as it's
Memorial Day Weekend and we don't have to work on
Monday!

so come join me and my friends this Sunday at the
Brazilian Beat Brooklyn party, where Sean and Greg
play some of the best funk, samba, etc. from the 60s
and 70s.  i don't care if you don't know how to samba,
all you have to know is that you want to hear some
good music and watch cute boys and girls dance.
they'll even teach you how to dance if you ask nicely.

those of you who've been to the party already know
what i'm talking about.  those of you haven't--well,
come find out.  and bring your friends.

DETAILS:

Black Betty, 366 Metropolitan (@ Havemeyer)
L train to Lorimer or G train to Metropolitan
exit the train at Metropolitan and Union and walk
along Metropolitan in the direction of the highway
overpass

Party starts at 9:30, and really gets going around
11pm.  goes til at least 3:30am.

Or This Option:

Go party and watch a rocking documentary
the film
             AFRO-PUNK
  the bands. (click the link to hear and see them)
             G.A.M.E. rebellion. - live political hip hop
             D-FE - African/Carribean voodou hardcore from france!
            Philmoore Browne - imagine sun ra's space is the place as a punk band.

          

the dj's

Qool Marv, Reborn,Celly,monica
doors 7:30
  film 8pm
  dj's 9pm
  bands 10pm
ADMISSION:$10
  FREE BOOZE from 9-10!!!!
   the delancey
  168 delancey btwn clinton and attorney

            
   

On The Radio

Radio is dead! Podcasts are the rage! I have been listening to podcasts a lot more since I have been traveling for work. Three months ago, I downloaded ipodder, and I have been listening to podcasts a lot. 

Here are my favorites:
Biddycast-the podcast of the Lasicivious Biddies
Coverville-a music show full of cover songs
Richard Vobes-Family friendly British daily show with soundseeing tours
PK and J-dirty talking couple from Columbus, OH
Podcast Paul-another Brit who plays 80' music and is a lawyer
Colskee-great music, great mellow voice
Eat Feed-Foodie Anne Bramley makes you wanna eat, drink and be merry
Jimmy Jett-trivia/almanac/great links

Don't Cry For Me Argentina

IMG_5978
Originally uploaded by rodmur.

The feeling of yuck hangs over me like a humid day either in New York or South Florida. I am constantly in limbo or maybe in purgatory…with both my career and my relationships. It doesn’t help that I spend five days a week doing boring stuff and I have only 48 hours to have fun with my friends and do I what I love. On top of all this, I am broke until Tuesday. It’s gonna be a long Memorial Day weekend. Maybe I write some sad poems and do laundry.
Things to be thankful for:

• I have some wonderful friends
• An editor at Fresh Yarn contacted me about a story I submitted 3 months ago.

• I have health insurance

• Last night, I had some really nachos last night with beef, tons of cheese and guacamole.

• Last week, GirlyNYC treated me to the Burlesque Festival at the Hiro Ballroom
• Some stranger came up to last  week and said I have a beautiful face.

Let me stop but I start sounding like one of those "woe is me" women bloggers. I know. I know. This too, shall pass.

Back In The Day

Doesn't anyone remember the heady not-very-steady days of the 90s when the dotcom folks predicted that ecommerce would make department stores go the way of the dinosaur. Well, It didn't happen!

Think about this analogy: 

Online shopping is to Brick and Mortar Stores as Blogs are to Mainstream Media.   

Take a cue for co-dependent couples (Britney & Kevin, Whitney & Bobby) and see that it's not "either/or" but "both/and".

Enough with the Blogs vs Journalism discussions. Enough with the scoop vs. scoop. It's still quite apparent that even though this blogging is a new medium, people want to attach old rules.  I have disdain for the win-lose, one-upmanship that is floating about.  It's make no sense in the atmosphere.  Open Source and transparency are empowering. Sharing information that benefits others feels good.

Holding Our For A Hero

Don't be a Desperate Housewife!  Come to BlogSheroes Tonight at Madame X!
Madame X is @94 West Houston St.
7-10PM between Thompson and LaGuardia Place

Liza will be there. I will be leaving on a jet plane for business.

In The Flesh

Saturday, I got a press pass to gain entry into the Erotic Expo New York. I wanted to go so that I could write a piece for an online magazine.  The line was long and security was tight at the Penn Pavillion.  You had to present two forms of ID to security and they searched your bags.  There was a long queue full of young men waiting to pay their $25  to get in. Once I got upstairs, I found what all the fuss about.  There were booths for  DVDs, lingerie, paddles,smut magazines, toys, chain mail dresses,lubricants and the Museum of Sex.  One of the more interesting booths is the one for a law firm.  They specialize in First Amendment and Intellectual Property.  Luckily I got pictures of Tera Patrick and Vanessa Del Rio. The Expo was cool but not shocking. After less than a hour at the Expo, I left and walked to the East Village because that's where the real freaks are.

Flesh For Fantasy

Don Lykins, Seks Columnist for the Tampa Bay Times, has a  list the top 5 sexual fantasies for women. [Editor's notes in brackets]

Straight Women

1. Another Partner [Variety is the spice of life]
2. Forced sex with a straight guy [Sometimes we like it a little rough]
3. Watching someone else have sex[not porn]
4. Idyllic encounter with an unknown man [who are you? who cares?]
5. Lesbian encounter [watching the "L" Word with girls doesn't count]

Gay Women

1. Forced sexual encounters [the ladies room @the girls room]
2. Idyllic encounter with an established partner [let's try the nipple clamps, honey]
3. A heterosexual encounter [not just for procreating any more]
4. Recall of a past sexual experience[a dry spell, your nails are really long]
5. Sadistic imagery [The Dungeon]

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

Can you believe that Ladies First at WYSIWYG happened a year ago? This is the story that I read ago.  It's a work of dirty fiction.

The First Time Ever I Sat On Your Face…

Your face. Your face is pretty not like a girl's face with long
eyelashes and deep dimples. It's pretty because it is smooth, soft and
symmetrical.  I love your face and the generous smile that you use
sparingly to charm me.

You can be so benevolent.   One night you determined that 69 was not
the way to go during one of our infamous all-night marathons.  You ask
me to sit on your face, but you did not want me to reciprocate.  I was
stunned! How can that be right?  In fact, I like giving as much as I like
receiving. But you insisted on being the "seat" of my desires.

How could I object to that?  So I slowly inch my body up to your face.
As I get comfortable in the seated position, I am excited by the power
that you offered to me. I was not some lady put up on a pedestal.
Instead I was the lusty queen on her throne being pleasured for
pleasure's sake.  It felt right!   I felt light as a feather. There
were no worries that I was too heavy from that pasta dinner or what my
pu55y tasted like.  I imagined that I tasted sweet and tart like apple
juice. Or it could be from the chardonnay that I sipped at dinner.  I
felt really free…free to release all my doubts, free to surrender to
the state of bliss I flying into and enjoying the corporal turbulence
that was all mine.  What a ride!

I relished my selfishness.  Here you are, delighting me with your
tongue acrobatics and caressing my ass and there I am simply enjoying
the experience.  My pleasure is your pleasure so I am not the least
bit guilty.  I can feel your Northern lips entrenched on my Southern
lips.  A Civil War is brewing between my legs!

Stunt

Wackosphere. Population: 2  [Authors Alexandro Rizzo and Amanda McCall]

Ok, so I purchased  Hold My Gold Sunday afternoon because I figured that I could read it on the flight down to Tampa.  Wrong! First it was not funny. It was sad. Secondly, it was full of stereotypes and sexist verbiage.  I cannot believe that it took two grown-ass women to write this book! They filled the book with silly personality quizzes, an archaic hip-hop dictionary and wack tips.  I SO rarely even use the word wack but it applies here.

Here's an example of the satire:

G-Unit is the most innovative trio since Peter, Paul, and Mary.

I think this book is what drove Dave Chappelle to Africa. These chicks would not be granted a ghetto pass.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Best time-waster ever! I found this google game while reading Tampa Bay Times. 

Burger! Another reason to wonder why vegans still roam the earth.

Chelsea Hotel Literary Blog...a niche blog for lovers of history, literature and those nostalgic for a time before the "big box" stores invaded the neighborhood.

Guy Brighton has ended The Diary.  Long Live PSFK!

Slide Show...You don't need a stinking computer. You can show your pictures, play MP3s on your TV.  Perfect for dinner parties.

Having a luau?  Shop here for ideas. Aloha!

Sunday Girl

Every Sunday, I pick up a copy of the Post. Yes, I said it! At 75 cents, it's a deal. I gotta see the celebrities' pics in the "Snaps" section and read Page Six. I gotta find out who's doing the book reviews.  I don't actually the read the book reviews, but I just wanna know who's doing them. 

I read the Sunday New York Times online, and I love to check out the Sunday Styles just to see what ridiculous trend is hot this week.  Well, I stumbled upon Cole Slaw Blog that pokes fun at the Styles sections (Thursday AND Sunday). Check it out!

Centerfield

Possible names for the Gawker Sports blog:

• Alley Oop
• Baller
• Benching
• Fanatic
• Kicker (too bad that's already taken even though the site is dead)
• Katcher (Denton's love of the letter "K")
• Power Play
• Striker

Note: I have no idea when the blog will launched, but if one of the names above are used, then I would be pleased.

You Can't Hurry Love

Congratulations! Last weekend Adele Testani, president and co-founder of Hurry Date got married.  Adele offered me a free hurry date last spring back when I was on the quest to get a boyfriend. Hurry Date is speed dating on crack.  You get three minutes to talk to someone, and then you're on the next person. I went and met 25 single guys and had one date with a fellow who lives in my neighborhood.  He was nice but there was no connection. I wonder if Adele met her husband through Hurry Date?

Speaking of dating, read RKB's latest column where she ponders what makes a date a date.

Stand

mayoral_ad

Andy Horwitz for Mayor.  If he is serious, I would totally vote for him. If not, then I would totally vote for him. Read his manifesto.

Get Off

My favorite google news alert is "jilling off". Today I actually read it and there's a show being produced at Columbia University.

Jilling Off is a show for, by and about women and has a distinctly raw and uninhibited  feminist twist. The show is about addressing issues such as the glass ceiling and contraceptives not compensated by health insurance. It's about why there are silicone breasts but not silicone testicles. It's about understanding feminism not as an army boot wearing movement of man-haters,  but as being about "justice, fairness, and access to the broad range of human experience," as writer Katha Pollitt describes it. It's a show that  seeks to empower women and relates to them that there is simply no  legitimate reason why females should be treated differently than males.

               

I Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down

There is another blog (other than Gawker) who mocks the Hollywood Squares.  Huffington is full of crap is where you can vote for "Idiot of the Day".  Gutfeld is a triple crown contender.

I am not sure why this blog interests me so much.  I think it's because celebrities should be like children where they are seen but not heard. Or it's because this blog hasn't paid its dues by blogf@cking.  It's like they got the engagement ring without giving up the booty.

Booty...I'm now distracted by that.  I definitely want to be a pirate for Halloween this year. Shiver me timbers! I'd love a jolly roger or a jolly rancher right now or maybe a ranch hand. I like big hands. If he has big hands that he can hold a lot of things. OK, I must keep one hand free. Bye!

He's Mistra Know-It-All

After a week of reading the Gutty Shark's posts on the Hollywood Squares, I have come to this conclusion.

Greg Gutfeld should guest blog on Gawker. 

Maybe he will do it free. [Lock, make it happen.]

Locally in South Florida, it's sunny I can see the ocean from my hotel room.  Back in the city tonight.

Ain't No Stopping Us Now

The Muse was a muse to Brit who came across to New York.

Remy Stern, former Fleshbot guest-blogger, and NewYorkish fame is now working over at Radar.  Radar Online is now live!

Congrats to Dens and Alex who just made a deal with the Google.  No wonder he asked me when I would back in town. [ I know I'm missing a party tonight.]

Read this nice article in Amsterdam News about Brown Bloggers and I am mentioned...

Thanks to Christabel, Chris and of course, Liza!

Maybe I'm Amazed

Greg "All Guts, No Glory" Gutfeld has posted again on Hollywood Squares.  This time he does a Gawker Stalker-like sighting of David Gergen.

According to Gutfeld,

My roommate Scott, the flight attendant, maintains that he saw David Gergen backstage at Coachella, the Mojave stage, chatting with members of British Sea Power. "Really amazing stuff," he kept saying to the band. "He was sweating and bobbing his head. There was a worn-out patch on his fanny pack, but I couldn't make out the lettering. It was either 'No Fear,' or 'Norafen,' which I think is an anti-inflammatory medication used to relieve sore muscles." Scott was really impressed because Gergen's calf muscles are huge.

If you are not familiar with Gergen, he's a noted commentator, editor and professor. David Gergen is currently a professor of public service at Harvard's John F. Kennedy School of Government and director of its Center for Public Leadership. He is also editor-at-large for U.S. News & World Report. In earlier years, he served as a White House advisor to Presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan and Clinton. [I really doubt that Gergen was at Coachella]

Greg, when are you going to let loose and bring the funny?  Dropping obscure references only worked for Dennis Miller and even that had a short shelf-life.

Southernplayalisticadillacmusic

So, I have been in Florida for more than 48 hours and I noticed the following:

humidity before 9AM
palm trees appear to wave hello when there's a slight breeze in the air
down here, I am called "mamacita" by the deli guy
a blue-green cocktail is called a dolphin daquiri
old people and little kids are everywhere
work is work no matter where you are

Lemon Crush

WTF?! Greg Gutfeld's first blog post on "The Hollywood Squares" of blogs, the Huffington Post is a call for a lemon square recipe.  Gutfeld attempt to be funny is not fruitful. [forgive the pun]

My roommate Scott, who's a flight attendant, recommends, the "added yummyness" of apricot preserves. I'm curious....doesn't that just ruin the whole point of lemon squares, once you start polluting them with apricot preserves? Why not just call them Apricot Squares!! ; )

There's obviously no fact checking going at the Huffington Post, since the newly married Gutfeld probably does not have a flatmate in merry old England other than his wife who he married 6 months ago. However, maybe he swings that way...

Chicks and Giggles alum Chelsea Peretti posted on the Huffington Post as well. She's funny.  Women are so much more funnier than men.  If you don't believe me, check out Chicks and Giggles tomorrow at Raga. It's 8:30 at 433 East 6th Street between 1st and Avenue A.

Who's That Girl?

Today I started reading Shaking Her Assets  by Robin Epstein and Renee Kaplan and there's a character in the book that is thinly disguised. Guess who?

The bar is full, the MediaSalon party is operating at capacity, and I am alone, looking like a huge loser in a sea of networking barflies. A woman in a red feather boa approaches me.

Hint: Her hubby just got a new job.

Speaking of husbands, I spotted Mr. Wonkette Thursday evening near Gray's Papaya. Have fun back in DC!

That's What Friends Are For

A year ago, I met these wonderful people and it feels like we known each a lifetime.  Riddle me this...If you recognize these ppl, give me a shout in the comments!

Who can send links that are NSFYW (not safe for your work), but she can peruse the sxc stuff at work and call it "research"?

Who can bake delicious homemade cupcakes and still keep tabs on everything Brazilian?

Who can start a blog devoted to panties, through a fantastic Easter brunch and gave you a sxc wink just to see you smile?

Who can outsnark and outwit the New York media bloggers, incite outrage against Dave Chappelle casting and out-accessorize with the cutest bags and bangles?

Who can make you love food even more than already do and make you feel good about your age, because she parties just as much as you do?

Who can make you laugh out loud, wonder about the appeal of nebbish New York writers and have you jonesing for a new pair of Vans?

Who can make you feel great about loving the melanin you got, appreciating the culture of New York and wishing that you can be a MILF one day?

Shake It Up

Pasties, Boas, Fishnets, Oh My! The New York Burlesque Festival starts May 20. All my favorites will be performing, but Candied Yams is in retirement until the mood strikes her to get onstage again.

White Horse

Snowflakes unite! These two chicks, Amanda McCall and Albertina Rizzo have wrote a book called, Hold My Gold: A White Girl's Guide To The Hip Hop World.

From Amazon:

Every night there is a white girl crying herself to sleep somewhere in America, listening to Ludacris and wishing she could be part of that gold-rimmed, Cristal-soaked hip-hop dream. Hope has arrived in the wise counsel given in Hold My Gold: A White Girl's Guide to the Hip-Hop World. From "Da Basix: Vocab, Grammar, and Translation" to "How to Be a Video Ho or "Just look Like One," authors McCall and Rizzo deliver a comprehensive education in hip-hop history, language, accessories, social etiquette, and more. Loaded with spot-on satire and hilarious tongue-in-cheek advice, Hold My Gold is required reading for bling-deficient white girls looking to conquer their hip-hop illiteracy.

I could reserve judgment until I read the book, but I bet this book is stupid and loaded with stereotypes and offensive assumptions. But what really burns me is that they got a book deal and I don't. WTF!

Follow The Waves

BlogHerCon is July 30! The schedule is now up, and there will be a Brown Blogger session. Come out to Santa Clara which will be a nice relief from the heat and the humidity of the Baked Apple in mid-summer.

Jenny

You missed a hilariously funny Chicks And Giggles last Tuesday.  If I had enough bandwidth, I would upload all of the bits that I recorded, but  Jenny Rubin's set had the best audio quality. It's pretty funny, too. Jenny starts her set with this line:

I know I look like I just got off the ferry from Martha's Vineyard, but I'm pretty sure that I was born a hermaphrodite.

Listen to the RUBE here rubin.mp3

Tuesday, May 10 is the one-year anniversary of Chicks and Giggles.  I can't believe that I start producing this fantastic show a year ago.  I came up with the idea at a party in February in 2004. That night, I was talking to my friend Abby who is a comedian and I said that it would be good to do an all-girl comedy night.  She agreed and later introduced to Ellen Lloyd at the Laugh Lounge.  I placed an ad in Craigslist in April and a few women emailed me who would later become Chicks and Giggles regulars. Soon I had a full line-up.  There were plenty of naysayers because I am not a comedian and I had never produced a show before. I didn't care!  I know how to put on a good party, and C&G is definitely a party.  I laughed so hard every show and I met some of the most talented people with vaginas in New York. I am so proud of this show and I want the spread the word about how great it is. Please come out to the anniversary show Raga (433 East 6th St) on May 10.  Show starts at 8:30PM. No cover!

Sugar

It's Sunday and the weekend is nearly over. I plan to write a lot today and pray that the sun comes out to play this afternoon.

Friday night, I finally got a chance to meet Isa from Post Punk Kitchen.  I stopped by Freddy's Backroom where she and her friends were having their bake sale. She gave me a delicious carrot cake cupcake. I also met some of Isa's friends including Julie, lead singer of metal band Made Out of Babies. I have listened to some of their CD, and even I am not a metal fan, I like their sound. 

Saturday was a little retail therapy as I was feeling a little melacholy.  I bought a new purse and summer PJs (shorts and matching camisole). Saturday night, I had fun at Maccers' birthday which was at this cozy little place on Spring St called Room 18. I saw many of the usual suspects but since it a small group, it was nice to have conversations with Laren, Allison, Rachel and Andrew.